Corporate Musings: The "Mid-Sales" Crisis

                  Corporate Musings: The "Mid-Sales" Crisis 

I paused. Deliberately. It hadn't been a long time since my last break. But I realised it had been a long time since a pause. That Friday evening, I shut my work laptop with meaning. It was a "long weekend" to follow and the best part, ironically, was I didn't have an agenda.

It was around this time last year that I said yes to a dream job. Well, one might argue that each job is a dream one, when you're taking it. For me, this was closing the loop with my sales journey. Joining what the world calls a "hard-core sales" organisation. "Can you hustle? Can you persevere? Can you work with (hungry) lions?" were questions that had stumped me during the multiple interviews and I just had one answer "I'll stick to the process. Results will follow"........

Eight months on, I reflected on the questions and the answers all over again, as I took a well deserved walk that Friday evening. In all my professional life, work was never on my mind once I shut shop for a weekend. In the last few months though, I was having imaginary conversations with customers and colleagues all over the place. From elevator pitches, to case studies to strategy to even my imaginary defense when my manager and his managers questioned my commission statement that was yet to get off the mark. "Afghanistan and Netherlands are doing better" I could hear my manager point out, though I still don't know if he tracks cricket!

A game of chess with my eight years young nephew was what helped me take my mind off work for the first time that evening. A couple of hours of innocent conversations later, I realised I was in the middle of a major disconnect, most of all, with myself. 

As a sales professional, I've always been polished but I've never been flamboyant. About eight years ago, I first said yes to sales because I always wanted to get out of the cocoon that I'd wrapped myself in and put myself out there. From selling light bulbs (I still pride myself for this), to being in pharma and then moving to more sophisticated forms of sales, the allure changed from "putting myself out there" to being "accountable for my own success and failure". But with the present role, I realised the difference between "success" and "failure" was half my salary. And while I've never measured my success with money, I slowly started realizing that in "hard-core" sales, money was a barometer with which the system would measure you.

"It's not about the money" I told Amma, on Saturday morning. For once, I was relishing the Akki Rotti that she'd prepared for breakfast. We sat down together after breakfast. And the conversation that day took a different turn, after my initial rant about work. Every once in a while, Amma and I sit down together talking our family, our extended family, my childhood and her childhood. Her mother  - my Ajji - is a favorite topic for both us, for the role model she's been. That morning, we revisited all these chapters for a good couple of hours. It was lunch time when she got up and I noticed that her hands had shrunk a little. "You're growing old, Amma" I said, with a mixture of sarcasm and concern. "I'm sixty, if you remember" she brushed if off. But that moment stayed with me for a good while....

What has served my health well since the pandemic has been a certain level of commitment to staying fit. This has helped me both mentally and physically. That evening I did another one of those five kilometre runs in Lalbagh - that beautiful lung space in the heart of Bengaluru - with the usual determination. What was different was that I wasn't doing it to bust stress, but to feel more of that peace I'd been feeling for a day now. I stopped by the lake and clicked a couple of pictures of the clouds and sunset. Connecting with Nature is one of those things that comes easily to me. Of late again, I was guilty of losing the fervour for such simple joys. Lalbagh was nudging me to do better that evening - or was I nudging myself?!

A day and a half on, I realised that time is such a beautiful concept. Thirty six hours could be as long or as short as you'd want them to be. With the people you want around you, doing things you love or simply doing nothing can add so much quality to those hours. The imaginary customer conversations were still rearing their head up in the back of my mind as I rode to my friend's place that Sunday morning. His father had passed a fortnight earlier and some of us were attending the fourteenth day rituals. The depth of feeling that I experienced during the rituals and later was the most poignant I'd been in a while. That someone who'd grown with me was never to going to see a parent again hit me hard. We were all "adulting" for a while now, I realised. And while the whirlpool of work lives and the pressure of our ambitions would keep weighing us down, to be there for people who matter and in ways that matter is probably why we put ourselves through the grind in the first place! 

An afternoon nap later, the depth was replaced by a sense of excitement. I decided to break my silence with the kitchen. It had been months since I'd stepped into my role as a "forever apprentice" under Amma's tutelage. We whipped up our own version of Mexican Rice, complete with colorful bell peppers and sweet corn. The hiss of oil, the vegetables donning their brightest color once sauted and the powerful aroma that emanates to tickle the appetite showed me another side of myself that I'd forgotten in a while. And by the end of that evening I almost started feeling positive all over again - my job was more a challenge that I'd taken up by choice. I had to find ways to make peace with it and with myself; Probably come up with coping strategies that didn't burn me out quickly. 

I slept peacefully with this realization and it was perhaps a moment of mini-catharsis. As I bathed next morning, I noticed I was no longer having imaginary customer conversations with the bathroom wall - but humming a rendition and adding my own dash of creativity with the swaras. "Wow!" I patted myself on the back - wouldn't that be a perfect start to every day?! 

 It had taken about sixty hours for me to work through the sense of anxiety that had built up during the past weeks. As I prepared myself for the weeks ahead that Monday evening, I almost felt the sense of optimism getting back to where it was some months ago. More importantly, I felt I was being too hard on myself and focused on only one aspect of my life. The three days showed me that I'd stopped connecting with people, with nature, with creativity AND with myself! A year ago, any job was just a part of me. Something I'd not even give a second thought between Friday evening and Monday morning! Here, I felt I was (and am) way more committed than I've ever been! I've had sales conversations I've never had before. I've learnt faster than I've learnt before...

Shouldn't the result of that be more satisfaction as an individual? Yet, as I write this piece, I realised that I'd lost connect with the key facets of my life. I'd even lost connect with the writer in me. I always believe that the writer in you doesn't die when you stop writing. He dies when you stop thinking like one. Or rather, when you stop "feeling" like one. 

Well, come Monday morning, I'll still be that hunter looking to get any number of small "yes's" from prospects looking to take those coveted deals forward! But at the same time, I hope that I have the awareness once in a while to take a little pause, opt out of the rat race, connect with myself and let the world take care of itself!

 Statutory Disclaimer: The views expressed are my own and do not have a bearing on my employer 

If you're my colleague reading this - happy to connect and know how're doing!

If you're my friend reading this - happy to connect and know how're doing!

If you're my manager or his manager - you know how I'm doing!

If you're my customer - Dear Sir...when are we closing that deal? ;)

                                                                                                             - 28th October 2023

  

  

 

Back to Office.....and How?!!

Disclaimer: This could well be a piece in the excitement of having attended office consistently in the last three weeks - a "phenomenon" in my life after nearly three long years!

The enthusiasm of a new job, the tipping point where work from home starts sounding like confinement and most importantly, public transport connectivity to office have enthused me to consider "work from office" as a viable option - till I get bored of office or vice versa!

And it has been a wave of nostalgia! Right from getting up in the morning and getting ready with that sense of purpose. Needlessly to say, that feeling of "dressing up" is so integral to a sales role. Shirts and trousers shelved like artifacts in a museum are beginning to see the light of day all over again. The best part is that they still fit! Not sure if being the same size after three years is considered good or bad - but it has definitely saved some cost here! Even the shoes smile with that coat of polish that eluded them for years. It's another matter that my feet and the shoes need to find romance all over again. For now, there is still the occasional tiff on uneven surfaces that is all too obvious.

The seven minute walk to the bus-stop reminds me of days from college and my first years as a professional. The city bus - for me - has always represented the world. People and personalities from all walks of life. The determination to make every rupee count. Yet the spirit of optimism as each of us in the bus prepares to face the world. It could be a student, an employee, a street vendor, a housemaid....all crammed in that microcosm. The bus travel of twenty minutes makes me feel part of a grand plan.

Ofcourse, the familiar feeling of being a run of the mill corporate answering to a boss, a super boss, a grand boss and ultimately the whims of an organisation returns with full force as I become aware of the ID card around my neck. But being in office reminds me that there are hundreds of millions in the world who are doing the exact same thing in one capacity or the other. We still have a stomach to feed and bills to pay.

Having people called around called "colleagues" is what I missed since the pandemic years. No, I still don't know more than a handful of my colleagues yet. I never may. On most days, I exchange smiles with a few of them and then there is the occasional lunch in the cafeteria. No proverbial "water cooler" conversations that lead to insightful grapevine or transformational ideas. Yet, the presence of this species called "colleagues" around, atleast for now, lends a sense of calm and purpose. And Mondays have a special ring to them, as my entire team is in office!

"Deep work" is the behavior
 where you work for reasonable periods of time without distractions. The definite upside of being in office has been that the probability of me engaging in deep work has increased. This, I believe, can help me be more productive (hope my Boss is not reading this ;) ). And productivity or not, the sense of being in a "flow" without distractions lends a lot of meaning to my day.

All this aside, going back to office has brought about changes on the home front as well. I wake up atleast an hour early and constantly want to improve on that. I'm motivated to groom myself. There is a tendency to organise priorities - work, workout, writing, reading and the likes. Work from home meant that work stretched endlessly from one day to the other. It's something I want to get rid of - though only time will tell! The afternoon siesta, so much an integral part of my life in the last three years, inevitably stands cancelled. And ofcourse, my parents can hopefully enjoy some peace, respite and space from the innumerable calls, cribbing and cacophony that's part of a typical day at work. Though Amma presently tells me that she misses my running into the kitchen every hour for snacks and short-eats!

On a more practical note, I'm conscious of the premise with which I'm writing this piece. I'm "experiencing" office all over again after three years and there's definitely a spring in my stride. But I'm cognizant that I could be singing a completely different tune in a couple of months down the line!

For now though, I'm enjoying this little dose of pride every time our househelp asks "Anna, how is it that you're going to office everyday?" Three weeks on, I've still not stopped smiling at that question!

                                                                                                   - 08th March 2023

The opinions expressed are completely my own and have no bearing on my employer. 

Corporate Musings: Of Goodbyes, Exits and Disappearances..

Corporate Musings: Of Goodbyes, Exits and Disappearances

Most of us were still trying to digest the mail that was the talking point of the entire organisation since morning. Messiah had decided to move on, after an illustrious career of 20 years in various roles in the organisation.

"He has set his sights on something more adventurous, most probably" Mr. Sales was saying. He was the perennial fan of the Messiah.

"He would have made enough money already. He could have chosen to hang up his boots. I would do it, if I were in his place" Mr. Forever mused, tacitly voicing his wishes.

"Or did the Transformation devour him too?" chipped in Mr. White Beard, with his characteristic chin scratching.

I had different things on my mind. Vinay had chosen to move on. We were colleagues, yes. But then, we had developed an excellent friendship too. We'd joined the organisation through the same program and had similar journeys in the last couple of years. The fact that he was moving on meant losing a friend on the one hand, but also sparked doubts of my reading of the situation at the organisation. 

"Don't get complacent, Alok. You may think you've got everything going for you here...the reality is different" was the message he rubbed in every time he got a chance. I smiled an unsure smile every time he said this. I wasn't sure of what I had - or what I didn't have.

Ravi had chosen to quit too. He was a member of the Housekeeping team. The team that helped us function smoothly without worrying about electricity, air conditioning, printing and scanning, cookies, lunch plates and many other little things whose business impact- most of us believed - was not exactly quantifiable. 

Moreover, Ravi was a person who went about his daily work diligently, without a fuss. Everything seemed to be in its place as if it was the natural order in office. The only time he was conspicuous was when he served tea and coffee to all of us during meetings. And to Mr. Sales and a couple of other senior colleagues everyday at three thirty sharp in the afternoons. 

                                                        *****************************

"We should send Messiah off in style" Mr. Sales was saying during lunch one afternoon. I was a fan of his conviction and class whenever he wanted to pitch an idea - whether internally or in front of the client. "Let's treat him to a five star dinner and gift him an exquisite oil painting. He has a refined taste for Art" The downside of his class was he at times came across as slightly snobbish to some of us. Contributing money for an oil painting and a five star dinner was sure to burn a hole in the pocket. 

Then the obvious question of connect came about. There were lots of veterans in the organisation who knew the Messiah personally. He had been a father figure for them in the organisation and supported them through thick and thin. And then there were the rest of us, to whom Messiah was a leader, an orator, an icon - but hardly anything else. I remembered him from my interview, a couple of coffee machine conversations and a jig at the sales conference where everybody danced with everybody else. I treasured those fan moments - but was still at a loss to develop any kind of emotional connect with him. The stylish goodbye seemed a luxury and a diplomatic obligation.

I was more concerned about how we planned Vinay's send off. He believed in a quiet exit - and I could rationalise with that. He wanted a last day where he could just go through the motions like every other day. Handover his laptop, ID and bid a final goodbye to the organisation. He had moved on emotionally from the organisation a long time ago.  

However, Ms.There-For-Everyone and Mr. Portfolio felt there should be a send-off lunch for a colleague who had been there with us for a length of time.  I, being his closest colleague, was tasked with co-ordinating the lunch and fixing a date. I was thankful for that.

True to her nature, Ms.There-For-Everyone soon initiated a mail trail for Ravi as well. We were asked to contribute generously in cash, so that Ravi could use the money during his transition from this job to the next. The entire office was unequivocally eager to pitch in and make a difference. 

                                                      *******************************        

Messiah arrived at his send off a lot more relaxed than people had seen him in years. The charm, the poise and his razor sharp tongue still evoked the same intensity of laughter (partly natural and partly forced, as always). People stood around him, escorted him and took pictures with him like there was no tomorrow. A few over-enthusiastic colleagues recited couplets that they had meticulously composed in his honour. One of them went on to say that the organisation's journey would have two phases: Before Messiah and After Messiah. There was thunderous applause at this juncture. The colleague was so overwhelmed that tears started streaming down his eyes -  sprucing up the emotion of the occasion.

Messiah himself was composed and real in his speech. He thanked the team he had built. He cherished the successes and reflected on the failures. "I'm climbing a new mountain" he announced, as the audience cheered him on, Mr. Sales and Mr. Whitebeard at the forefront. Mr. Hardware was busy taking a video of the entire speech, that he planned to upload on LinkedIn later that evening. As Messiah walked to his Chauffeur driven BMW that evening, all of us walked to the basement to bid him adieu. Amidst the jostling that happened, I wasn't sure if the Messiah noticed that I was there in the crowd too.

Vinay and I drove to the restaurant together for his send-off lunch. We were still not discussing the fact that it was his last day. He might have felt pompous. I would have felt insecure. We discussed his plans in his new organisation. I told him my vision for the next few months. We continued to debate about what was right and what was wrong in our present state.

Most of the office was present for the lunch. Ms. There For Everyone commanded the respect of colleagues. And everyone knew Vinay in person - all of them wanted a chance to wish him luck. The initial spotlight was on Vinay, where he thanked everyone for their support and encouragement. Everyone smiled and nodded. The focus soon shifted to the Andhra lunch that was on offer. Vinay's exit was made more memorable by the lunch for sure. Once lunch ended, there was a group picture which Ms There For Everyone shared on the office WhatsApp group. That night, Vinay wrote a final Thank You message, before leaving the group forever.

There were eight of us in office, when Ravi was leaving. Not many knew his actual relieving date - as it had been moved around a couple of times. All of us in office gathered in a conference room just before Ravi was to leave. Ms. There-For-Everyone had placed the cash neatly in a company envelope. Mr. Forever spoke about Ravi. His humility, tenacity, courtesy and hardwork - all of it found mention. I felt a sense of pride for the organisation at that moment - which I had not felt at Messiah's Farewell or Vinay's exit. Ravi didn't speak. He kept smiling throughout the five minutes that this ceremony lasted. May be he felt thankful, embarrassed, relieved and optimistic at the same time.

I pulled him aside for a moment after his send off and asked him what his plans were. "I'm starting off on my own Sir. I'm planning to learn photography and do wedding shoots. My friend is helping me with that"
"Isn't that a big risk? You have a fixed salary here" I asked.
" I can only grow to be a supervisor here Sir. And I don't want to do housekeeping forever. I'll start off...God will help me along the way" he said, with confidence in his destiny.

I realised Ravi's parting words would haunt me more than Vinay's or Messiah's ever would.

                                                  ***********************************
  

Out of sheer habit, I looked up Vinay on the company directory the next day.  "Presence Unknown" it said. My thoughts lingered on him for a couple of minutes. At that moment, I received a call from one of my customers. My attention completely shifted to the task on hand. I would WhatsApp Vinay later on in the evening.

Though I fully knew what the result would be, I looked up Messiah on the company directory:"Presence Unknown". I looked around. Business was as usual. Those directly reporting to him might have felt an ephemeral vacuum that their responsibilities would have filled the next moment. Mr Sales would still sing paeans when he found the opportunity. But I was at the bottom of the food chain. Messiah or no Messiah - organisational realities would never change for me.

Ravi had disappeared. He had no mail ID. So it wasn't possible to look him up on the company directory. At half past two, our morning tea cups were still at our desks. The previous day's sticky notes and tissues were still at our workstations. At three thirty, Mr. Sales and Mr. Forever walked to the pantry to make their own tea,

As I watched them brew their own tea, I wondered what mattered most - the Goodbye, the Exit or the Disappearance.....

                                                                                                                - 8th May 2019

DISCLAIMER: Incidents dramatised for fictional and narrative purposes

Corporate Musings: Of Peace, Productivity and Purpose!

Corporate Musings: Of Peace, Productivity and Purpose!

I closed the laptop even before it shut down. My hand was already reaching out for my mobile phone. I'd checked it about ten minutes ago. But life can change in ten minutes. Especially if that girl you've been tacitly hitting on chooses to initiate a chat-even if the message reads just "Hi". Or what's better - the notification that makes your heart skip a beat: "A recruiter has viewed your profile"

A few cubicles away, Rahul and Vinay were closing their laptops with a thud and reaching out for their phones. I could guess that Rahul was shopping for his date. And Vinay was already checking his mail on phone, for issues that could have occurred in the last forty five seconds to one minute.

There was a comfortable silence in Office. The silence that marks the end of a hard day. That happy silence that prevails when the rest of the to-do list can wait for tomorrow. That easy silence which lends to philosophical conversations with colleagues you could safely call friends.

"Yours is an OCD, Vinay" I mocked, as he feverishly unlocked his mail on phone. He ignored my comment and continued checking the mail. "I've always wondered how anything we do here, any issue we resolve...impacts the world outside. So after a certain time....things can wait. Peace."

"Which is why you should focus equally on personal life"said Rahul.

"Like you focus on your girlfriend?" Vinay interjected, looking away from the phone for the first time in the last five minutes.

"Fiancee now. I have personal commitments to look forward to. Productivity - in here and outside." corrected Rahul.

" I haven't thought about personal life much. My goal is the corner office by 45. Here...or anywhere else. I'm willing to do anything it takes. Purpose." said Vinay.

I pulled up a chair and settled down in between the two guys I'd come to befriend in office in the last year. All of us had embraced corporate life- again - after post graduation. The second innings, we had hoped, would transform our lives and careers. And on the surface, it quite did. We had better salaries, more glamorous sounding designations and mouthful of jargon that we could throw to confuse external and internal customers alike. Yet, a couple of years on, there was something gnawing at our spirits which refused to go away - after crunching numbers, wiping to do lists clean and closing that coveted order on Salesforce.

"Are either of you....concerned about Peace...and being happy in life? I've always wondered how being corporate is going to get us there." I thought aloud, while my eyes continually scanned the job site for the next corporate opportunity that might help me earn that thirty percent more. I must admit I'm continually torn between the practicality of life and the detachment one might experience if we simplify it.

"That's for when you are sixty. Now it's about ambition, success. Climbing the ladder" Vinay said, with closed fists that punched the air in energy. This guy could become a motivational speaker. 

"But for all the effort you are putting my friend, your name still hasn't reached Headquarters. And everyday, you put yourself under unnecessary pressure" I said, with the serenity of a monk on my face, but knowing full well that I needed to step up my game at office.

"Listen guys" Rahul interjected. "May be, you staying peaceful and oblivious to your growth won't help....and may be stressing about performance all the time won't either. Do your bit and leave the rest. There are plenty of things to look forward to....in this wide world"

But what were those things....I always wondered. The bugger Maslow had put useless words and ideas into our system. While most people were happy with a stable job, decent pay and the perks that it brings along, here we were, looking to make sense of life, thinking how we could put our boundless energy and limitless intellect (no...we were not exactly humble, as we chatted up that day) to benefit us and if possible, the society at large. The path to "self-actualisation" - whatever that meant!

"We need to do something that shoots us to the limelight" urged Vinay. "A startup idea that is the next big thing. The Bansal's shipped books in their car...look at where they are now"

"Agreed...their net worth is hundreds of crores now. Imagine what they could do with all the money" Rahul joined in. The mention of money had the same effect that his fiancee's message had on him, give or take a couple of decibels in voice and a shade or two of the light in his eyes.

"I would retire and pursue my interests - if I had so much money. Enough of being corporate."I said, as a matter of fact. Ambition was never my strength. To be good at something, had no higher motive. I was going to school. So I better be good at studies. I played cricket. So I'd rather be good at it. The company was paying me - so I'd rather work hard. The rest somehow didn't matter. Hikes would come. But I'd never fight for the better-than-my-neighbour-hike. Being simple and single, meant I had more than I could spend anyways.

"Rome wasn't built in a day guys." I continued. "Growth takes time. It'll come when it has to come. Focus on it. But don't obsess." I had perched on top of the table now. "Let things be....just be...." I extended my arms, mimicking a sea of calm.

"Haan..this is one way to lead life. Just be. Don't worry, the wind will take us to an island. And the island will be our home. We will have a home anyways. Why do you want to take that particular course to reach that particular island? This is your point right...Alok?" asked Rahul, the tinge of sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Yaar...am atleast trying to enjoy the journey! We'll all get to be on the journey only once...right? Why do you have worry so much to be on a particular island? For all you know....once you reach the island, you may not like it! You were thrilled when you took up this role.....and within a year...you are already up for a change!" My voice had some conviction for the first time that evening. It felt like scoring a brownie point in a group discussion for a job back in college.I'd attended quite a few of them before I landed a decent job. And I was now eager to attend a few more for the same purpose.

"I'll never get this funda about islands" Vinay interjected. "But all I know, is that I want to be the captain of my ship. I'll not buckle down and take orders from someone...anyone" And his phone started ringing. The Universe seemed to have heard his vow. "Yes Sir. Will do that right away. Oh no...my laptop is not shutdown yet....next ten minutes...I'll create the chart too...Sure Sir. Yes.." Rahul and I burst out laughing as he cut the call. "Arey....wo tho Boss tha" Vinay explained, remembering what he had said a moment ago. "I need to captain his ship too...." Nice recovery indeed, we thought.

The conversation lulled into silence. Irrespective of the views we expressed, fact remained that we tried to answer a lot of questions to ourselves. We wanted to matter to the world, to our kin and though we hated to admit, we wanted to matter to ourselves. The last one probably was the toughest. Many jobs later, lakhs of rupees later and crucially, millions of minutes later, when we'd look back.... questions would come back to haunt us.

Did we live the Life someone else envisioned for us? Was our Success defined by our parameters or did Society decide that for us? Did we make money....or did we make memories? Was our construct of happiness defined by us or did we bluff ourselves to feeling happy? Did we bluff about being happy too?

Was being successful...being happy? Or was being happy....being successful?

Vinay had completed the task assigned by his Boss. His eyes were slightly red. He noticed it that we'd noticed that too.

"You are right Alok.....may be I shouldn't fuss about all this so much. I'll take some of your Peace" he said, in a sombre tone.

"On that note, my evening now has Purpose Vinay. She is upset I haven't responded to her texts in the last half hour I spent with you guys. Need to do some fire-dousing!" Rahul said, and rushed out.

I looked into my phone for the first time in the last half hour. She still hadn't seen my forward that was an implied conversation starter. I flipped windows. Nope. No recruiter had viewed my profile in the last half hour either. Clearly, my Productivity had a long way to go!

                                                                                                              - 30th May 2018

Corporate Musings: The Transformation

                        Corporate Musings: The Transformation

“We will be changing the way we do business” Messiah said in an e-mail that arrived early one morning. It was amazing how he had personally addressed the mail to me. “Dear Alok…” it began.

For someone like me, the very fact that Messiah had taken the pain and effort to address the mail to a “nobody” in the organization was a reassurance of self-worth. I mean, I know it is all technology. But motivating yourself to stay driven in a tough sales life is also an art.

As I commuted to the office on the Metro later on, I read and reread the mail several times. The Messiah was clearly sharing his vision with me. “We need to stay relevant to the customer in the ever changing and dynamically evolving market scenario”.  

“Aye Aye Sir” I felt myself saying. What power in the language! What leadership in thought! I was trying to imagine his baritone and the posh accent with which he would deliver these lines. On top of my agenda that day was to watch Messiah’s speech video on the transformation.

“Transformation” the term, in letter and spirit had captured our imagination. Things would never be the same again. Messiah, with his team of blue-eyed executives, had drafted a masterplan that would alter the course of the organization and disrupt the market in the next 5 years. “We are at a pivotal moment in the journey of our organization” one of the lines in his mail said. My chest swelled with pride at being part of something so monumental. It was the fervour of a rookie, employed with a behemoth.

I entered the office to frenzy and excitement on the entire floor. Messiah’s mail seemed to have invigorated a rather run-of-the-mill Wednesday. Customer calls and requests seemed to be put on hold as we discussed Messiah’s plans for the organization.

“I knew about this long ago” said Mr. White Beard, scratching his chin. His claim was audacious. But his influence in the organization was tremendous and nobody challenged him. 

“Whatever Messiah does, has sound rationale.” chipped in Mr.Sales. His role was to sell and sell he did. His skills at selling were excellent both internally and externally - the reason he had grown so fast. “Remember how he turned the organization around 5 years ago? Man...This man has a magic wand!” he exclaimed. No wonder he was one of Messiah’s clear favourites.

“Luck was on his side then” argued Mr. Forever, who seemed to have been in the organization forever.

Rookie One, Rookie Two and I looked on. We were getting our own tidbits for gossip and speculation. Being part of a “transformed” organization would definitely give us some brownie points in the next interview!

The chattering stopped suddenly, with several heads turned towards the aisle. Miss New-to-the-location had just walked in.

                                                    *****************************

Several e-mails on the impending Transformation flew into our mailboxes in the subsequent weeks. While some talked about the reasons for the Transformation, some of them talked about the people driving it. The most popular were the ones that talked about “cost transformation”.  Mr. Management Jargon was extremely excited whenever he saw these terms. “We need to focus on EBITDA. We need to do a profitability analysis at the Group Level. Some restructuring is inevitable” While this drew gasps from the rest of us, he was visibly excited that he was witnessing something that he had read only in his Management course.

From that day on, talks on restructuring dominated the lunch tables, post-lunch strolls and coffee breaks. For Rookie One, Rookie Two and me, girls from neighboring office blocks seemed less interesting, as talks about transformation dominated our post lunch strolls. “Bhai…we need to update our Resume” Rookie One started saying every day. He was constantly on the lookout for new opportunities from the day he joined the organization. But somehow, still wanted to update his Resume. “We are small fish” suggested Rookie Two, thoughtfully. However, I had a hunch he was giving interviews every other day. “Let’s wait and watch” I said dreamily, imagining the transformation catapulting me to a position that was more significant.

One department that had come alive during the entire buzz about Transformation was Marketing. “Organisation 2.0” they called their initiative. Mail IDs that I received no response from, when I mailed them constantly for leads and insights, were bombarding my mailbox with teasers and flyers.  The glass windows of our pantry were covered with posters in a couple of weeks. Each poster focused on different aspects. While one talked about how we would position ourselves as “Future Ready” for our customers, there was another that focused on making the organization “The Best Place to Work”. There were some skeptical glances at the second one, but most of us were hopeful.

To ensure that they did not fall behind, the HR department jumped into the bandwagon too. Appraisal frameworks were revised. HRs sat huddled with line managers in meeting rooms for hours. While some of the discussions seemed one way, there were a few animated ones too. And line managers always came out of those meetings with an air of superiority- obviously derived from the fact that they knew a little more than we did.

Mr. White Beard and Mr. Management Jargon were now constantly busy visualizing new organizational structures. They decided roles and responsibilities for everyone in the organization. We were so convinced by their arguments, that we believed their speculations would be reality sooner than later. I almost ventured to change my mail signature, when Rookie 1 rightly cautioned me saying nothing was official yet.

In between all this, Miss New-to-the-location had stopped coming to office for a couple of weeks now. Yes, a part of the lunch table speculations were reserved for her as well.

                                                      

                                                    *********************************

“Welcome to Organisation 2.0” read Messiah’s mail. I sat upright on my bed, startled. It was the middle of the night. Just past 2 AM. I’ve got a bad habit of waking up in the dead of the night and checking my messages and mails. Well, it proved to be useful now!

“Dear Alok, thanks to your efforts in the last few months, we have now completed our journey of transformation. We are now Organisation2.0 - an organization you have built and an organization you’d be proud to work for!”It went on.

Messiah was taking direct cognisance of my efforts in the transformation too! All I had done was taking up online courses for a few propositions we were expected to sell…though I was still clueless about how to make them relevant to my customers.

But even at that time in the night, I was thrilled. We were finally there - the mail said. The journey is complete - the Messiah said. And if Messiah had said it, it had to be true. I couldn’t wait for morning!

I got up early and dressed well. I was part of Organisation 2.0 now. Our values now were Informed, Intelligent and Imaginative. The “I” in all these words stood out in Bold Blue, the vision being each employee would now embody these values and the values thus would reflect in our work. This was one thing that marketing had finally been good at. If someone asked me what was the change in the organization, I’d definitely say I was now (more) Informed, Intelligent and Imaginative about the marketing team in the organization.

The journey to Office that day was a blur of excitement. As soon as I entered the office, Receptionist Ms. False Accent stood up ever so courteously and said “Morning Alok, Welcome to Organisation 2.0”. I smiled the most genuine smile ever to her and entered the work area.

The scene didn’t quite capture my imagination. It seemed business as usual. Everybody would have got the midnight mail. Weren’t they excited about it? We were Organisation 2.0 now! Informed, Intelligent, Imaginative!

Everybody was at their desk. Busy. Poring over mails like they did every day. Mr. Loud Mouth was haggling with a distributor. Mr. Sales was pacifying a customer and assuring that the delivery of goods would happen by end of next week, if not in the beginning. Something was amiss.

Mr. Forever, Mr. White Beard and Mr. Management Jargon, along with a couple of others were having their early morning tea break in the pantry. I was sure they were discussing Organisation 2.0. I made myself a tea too and sat at their table.

“It was almost the same exercise…five years ago” Mr. Forever was saying. “We received the “Transformation complete “mail while we were in office…so it was a little more exciting.”

“They called it Organisation 1.1 then…”said Mr. White Beard, and everyone burst out, laughing. I smiled, a little clueless. And continued to sip the tea.

“We need to have a strong vision and mission statement. Just changing values doesn’t help” Mr. Management Jargon said, all animated. “What about the structure we envisioned, White Beard? Messiah could have implemented that. We are soft at decision making.”

“I still think that’ll happen soon. You can’t overhaul structures overnight right?” Mr. White Beard said. I must say I was amazed at this man’s conviction. Overnight? Messiah had been harping on Transformation for half a year now.

I looked at the glass windows of the pantry. They seemed naked now. All the posters from the marketing campaigns had been removed. Mr. Facilities was rather clinical in the execution of his duties.

I went and sat down at my desk, next to Rookie One and Rookie Two. I looked around for the HR. Hers had been a constant presence in the last six months. She wasn’t there too. She had vacated with all her memorabilia that had adorned her cubicle. I glanced at the monitors of Rookie One and Rookie Two. Both were busy on job portals again. Maybe I needed to take that plunge too! Updating my Resume was at the top of my agenda now.

The system clock indicated a minute to 11. And it was time for the team call with the Boss. I joined the call, full of fervor, hoping he would have some news on the Transformation and how the way we did business would change.

“Good morning everyone! And Welcome to Organisation 2.0” he said cheerfully. I was upbeat. “So…let’s start with you Alok. Is mahine me kitna number karoge?”  I was always the last one to update on the call, given I was the junior most in the team. I was taken aback that I was asked to go first. May be this was Transformation! I was almost sweating when I finished my update. Rookie One and Rookie Two were smirking. The pantry group had finally dispersed and people were now busy in their own work. The scene was not different from what it had been months ago.

Suddenly, Miss-New-To-The-Location walked in. I looked around, expecting to see people turn their gaze away from their monitors, in a different direction. Nothing of that sort happened. Rookie Two punched me in the ribs and pointed at an e-mail. It said “Congratulations to Miss New-To-The-Location, who is now Miss Newly Married…” it went on.

Clearly someone else’s life had been Transformed, elsewhere!

                                                                                           

                                                                                              -4th February 2018

If there's something constant, it's change. Creatively adapted from different transformation anecdotes I've heard, with liberal doses of imagination. Any resemblance to a real person is purely coincidental.                                                          

Corporate Musings: The Job Switch

                          Corporate Musings: The Job Switch

The Messiah was yet to call me. What started as a wish had turned to sheer desperation in the last couple of months. I knew to earn a call would require tremendous dedication. A call from the Messiah required a pot full of luck as well. I waited. And continued waiting.

                                                  ..................................................................

The Preparation

I tailored my Resume with finesse. It contained everything - right from being the "bench leader" in Class 5, developing my capabilities to become a "class monitor" in Class 10 ( a demonstration of leadership qualities you see). I prepared lengthy justifications for why my scores fell by ten percent at each level of education.

Days were spent on SWOT analyses that I did and re-did. The tricky part was looking up phrases to fit the scenario. I just couldn't exclude "Ability to think on my feet" and "Not get bogged down by failure". The weaknesses were more interesting. I said "I've not honed my planning skills to the extent I'd like as I'm so good at thinking on my feet". I could remember one of my more experienced friends telling me "The interviewer must feel your weakness is a strength in disguise". (Whatever that meant!)Till then, I was happy stating "I'm a little lazy" and "I lack planning skills" in the face of the interviewer.

The biggest dilemma was whether to include an objective statement or not. Google had hordes which invariably started with "To be a part of an organization which provides me an opportunity to...." and later the statements lost me on management jargon. Given a chance I'd have stated "To quit my manager here and move to a different one...and over a period of time quit that guy as well" Somehow, it was always employee versus manager. May be my manager felt the same way too. I decided to discard the objective statement anyway. It would take a lot of explaining.

The Application

 Naukri.com was the first destination ofcourse. I entered  keywords even remotely connected with my
 aspirations and uploaded my Resume. And started hoping. I was under this presumption that the moment I upload my Resume, job offers would flood my inbox. It didn't happen that way. I started hitting the "Apply" button on every job that showed up. Initially it was excitement, later a habit and a month down the line, sheer desperation and frenzy.

I diversified my search. Appealed to the entire job portal community to get me a response.  A phone call. Then came the reference part. I texted long lost friends, who never figured in my day to day thoughts or communication. The recipient of the call generally recognized the purpose of my call within a minute. It took a lot of effort to show them I was genuinely concerned about what they were up to in life. (which was never my intention in the first place). As the search reached fever pitch, I wouldn't bother with the diplomacy. After a greeting, I'd jump straight to asking a reference...and the call would end in a minute. I lost my respect, but somewhere I was sure they'd remember the desperate job seeker even if there was a remote chance.

In the meanwhile, I started getting active on something called LinkedIn..it was not social networks anymore. I'd prefer the "professional network". I pinged a few faithful friends for a testimonial, made a list of skills I'd acquired (starting from Excel and Powerpoint) and updated my profile - a skill a day-so I'd trend all the time on my network. Then came the "Please review my profile" exercise. I'd like posts from HRs and say "Please review my profile" somehow hopeful the HR would notice my profile amongst a couple of thousand likes and comments. And then I'd follow CEOs and COOs to say "This trend you're talking about is a manifestation of the disruptive advances in the industry which preclude development in the long run but can lead to short term capital gain without impacting the market share and consumer preferences" Trust me, I was just there to attract the attention of those big guys.

I did receive a couple of calls. But the telephonic interviewer always would stump me. "Why do you want to leave the brand so soon?". And when faced with someone who actually asked the question, I was speechless. My heart would yell out the true reasons, which were entirely personal. Yet I would blabber some management crap, which never convinced me, let alone the interviewer. I'd sincerely go back home and refine the reasons. I'd convince myself that I wanted to move out for genuine professional reasons...and personal reasons were always secondary. Though I always knew the truth.

The Deliverance

Messiah finally called me. It was four months into the search and only I knew the rising anticipation in the morning and the sinking disappointment in the night.

The job opening had almost everything I was looking for. I noticed that a grade point lesser and I'd never have been considered. "Providence" I told myself. This was probably the most realistic chance in the 4 months. It was back to the drawing board. Back to the fine tuning key skills on the Resume and brushing up aptitude for an online test.

I cleared the test and waited for the dreaded telephonic interview. "So why do you want to leave the brand so soon?" And for once, I was honest...or nearly honest. At the end of five minutes, Messiah only said "We'll let you know".

The "We'll let you know" hung there a couple of days. It then was a week. Was he not the Messiah after all? I wondered many times. And then the mail arrived. Inviting me for a day long process at the company office. It triggered a new set of problems. Right from sneaking in that "sick leave" to attend the process to shelling out a bomb to book flight tickets at a short notice. "Is the offer worth the effort?" I asked myself. I'd have to compete with people I'd never beaten - from places whose names were intimidating on paper. And then the Messiah's voice echoed through the darkness "You have nothing to lose my Son". I made my decision.

The D-day dawned. There I was, in front of a mirror in the restroom of the company office. I had recently read about self talk and affirmations. "You can do it" I told that me in the mirror. "You have to" punching the air with my fist . I noticed an other candidate entering the restroom, smirking. He probably overheard me. The self talk ended there.

From then on, the day was a blur. There were times when I had to summon the last ounce of energy to make myself heard at the group discussion. I also had to be at my creative best to conjure up instances to demonstrate the behavioural traits I claimed I had. All this while continuously sizing up the fellow candidates who, I'm sure, had got this opportunity after their journey between anticipation and desperation.

It was nearly evening when the peon finally said "The Messiah will see you now". This was the moment I was waiting for. It meant I was at the final step after crossing all those obstacles, hopes and disappointments in the last few months. I had to just ensure that this was not an other case of so near yet so far.....

I entered his room and the Messiah asked me to sit. He glanced through my Resume for a formality and then  looked at me. Something said he was reading more from my eyes and face.
"So...tell me about yourself" he asked. I started off with the well rehearsed answer which I'd memorized months ago. But he was never bothered in rhetoric. He cut me three sentences into the answer.
From then on, the interview was in a different trajectory altogether.
He needled me personally, probed areas of my life which I never thought were topics of discussion in an interview. I was visibly agitated. "Why are you so flustered?" he asked, with a piercing look, clearly enjoying the stress he was building on me.
Was the Messiah supposed to be that inconsiderate? At this rate, I knew I was headed only one way-out of the door. And then came those bouncers "How can I be sure you'll stick to this company, you seem to have a tendency to switch?" "What are your weaknesses?" "What are you doing to overcome them?" No amount of preparation helps under those circumstances. My mind was like an open book to him. He deliberately put me under pressure to see how I react. And I was reacting terribly ofcourse. All my answers were top of mind - there was no thought behind those answers - and hence there were absolutely genuine. Towards the end, he merely said "You are too impulsive." My mind blanked out at the statement. It was a quality someone else had pointed out a couple of years earlier. I had lost something big at the time too.
                                   ..................................................................................
                             
The Epilogue....Or Prologue?

It turned out that the Messiah liked me. Somehow, my efforts had paid off. I didn't know what he liked. Was it my earnestness...or my forced integrity...or my impulsive answers that bordered on aggression? Or was it just his instinct that I might do well? (In which case I still have a long way to go) Or did I happen to be at the right place at the right time? I still keep pondering about all this, even as I receive calls from friends now who want to switch and ask me how to go about it. (Life comes a full circle see).

The honeymoon has now ended and I've discovered the organisation isn't perfect as well. I've kind of started to appreciate the beauty of imperfection. (In case the Messiah comes across this piece). And I always wonder where my next Messiah is going to come from!

                                                                                               
                                                                                                    - 30th March 2016

A job switch is commonplace. Retold here with drama and creative liberty.

Corporate Musings: The Friday Syndrome

                  Corporate Musings: The Friday Syndrome

 

Whenever I find myself reflecting deeply on life or searching for that "bigger purpose" or my "true calling" or such jargon straight from a Paulo Coelho work, I discover inevitably it's Friday. Sometimes, the week has trundled along. Sometimes it has whizzed past. And there have been occasions where the week has remained stationary for several weeks. Yet when the week halts on a Friday, aspects of routine life which remain conveniently hidden (or blended) in the background, suddenly take foreground and force introspection.

It invariably starts with blaming the Bangalore traffic. I'm sure it has been the same on a Monday or a Wednesday. But somehow it draws special attention on a Friday. It is probably because it serves the first reminder of how mundane and monotonous yet hurried and complex our lives are. (read corporate lives).

 

Thoughts start intruding at the work desk too. Probably because Fridays are a lot more relaxed at work than the rest of the week. It usually starts with "Why do I have to do this?" and ends up at "Why am I doing this?" I look back at a fledgling career of two and a little years, as though I've spent two odd decades. And because I have the luxury to reminisce on a Friday, I look back at those unfulfilled little dreams: starting with a novel I have a vague outline about to a membership at the gym that has been lying idle for the last couple of weeks to an unplanned trip to the Himalayas that has been long due. Everything seems so possible if and only if I was not spending most of my life working and shaping a career.

 

The "Shaping a Career" takes a different connotation as well on Fridays. Having been forced to think along the lines of well set processes in an organization, I start to crave to do something creative(Forgetting that the most creative I've been in the recent times is writing crap about Puppets that talk all of a sudden) I want to solve a "Real World Problem." It sounds too cool. Thanks to the morning, Bangalore traffic takes first place again. Then I read a report on Modi and my mind drifts to agriculture. A farm hundred kilometres from Bangalore, a chance to be my own Boss and employ a few people. A serene life with green all around - what more could I ask for?

 

After meandering on the web for a while, the browser lands on the inevitable these days:"Start -Ups". Nah..not about starting a "Start-Up." There are people who can afford the risk. I suddenly want to be employed in a startup. I convince myself I want a more dynamic environment where I face "challenges" each day. (The last time I faced such a challenge, I had a verbal battle with my boss and quit the job a week later). I open LinkedIn and hit numerous likes. Also say "Please review my profile" to a stranger's post which already has two thousand seven hundred and thirty nine people doing the same. I lookup key people from a few organizations and endorse their posts - sometimes adding  a cryptic two lines that seem extremely knowledgeable yet completely unfathomable. The Friday drowsiness helps all this.

 

The week ends. Finally. After shutting down the laptop for the last time in the week, I trudge along the dusty roads - still engrossed in a weekly battle, trying to figure out where my life is headed. I pass by a few street-side vendors, with little kids who often smile and wave at me. That is when the "Friday Syndrome" hits its peak notes. My heart goes out to those kids. I want to quit my job, go to a remote village in some corner of India and start teaching. I would start teaching first, then gain the trust of the village and revolutionise the village. That village would be a model village for the entire country. Centuries later, it would still have my statue - with a laptop in one hand and a sapling in the other.

 

I get into the Metro, still thinking about in which region of India this village would be. Somewhere in the Himalayas would be my preference. I try to find out if I have enough savings to last me for a while - till I get to the village, start teaching and the village pays me. I make a decision to quit worldly life and pursue my goal of educating India. "Educating India" would be my TED Talk which millions of people would Google after a couple of decades. My mind starts painting a picture that convinces me this is the route to take. I plan to tell my parents tonight, convince them over the weekend and hand in my papers on Monday.

 

I play and replay the dialogues of that conversation, starting from "I hate corporate life" to  "I need to discover myself" to "I want people to remember me", as I sink my teeth to the delicious Golgappa on  MG Road. The Golgappa vendor's marketing plan that I started working on a couple of Fridays ago seems so mundane now. He asks me about ideas for improvement I had promised that Friday- after a bout of that week's Friday syndrome. I say "I'm working on something more important."

 

I climb onto my two wheeler and ride back home. All the way playing the conversation with my parents that would happen once I reach. I would want to travel second class to Delhi and then on top of trucks and buses. I remember Bollywood movies along the way.

 

While excited about finally pursuing my dream, I feel a little heavy about leaving home. It wouldn't be the same again. I press the doorbell and Mother opens it. Once I freshen up, I start checking my messages on the smartphone. One particular message catches the eye. "An amount of....has been credited.....as part of reimbursement..." it goes on. A different part of my mind lights up now. And the conversation is eternally postponed.

 

For this is no ordinary Friday, it is Friday the 25th!

 

 

                                                                                    - 18th March, Friday

 

 

Disclaimer: The thoughts and ideas in this page.....are not just mine alone :P