A Day in Isolation

                                        A Day in Isolation

There is this day every year when I spend the whole day in isolation. I sort of turn the clock back to a time when I didn't have a computer at home -or a smartphone-and was happily jobless. I make it a point to stay away from television, radio or even a newspaper, on that day. Phew! Life-or lifestyle -has changed so much...

One hour into my resolution, I found myself fighting withdrawal symptoms. I felt restless, frustrated and cut-off. I was quick to notice why. My smartphone was switched off and my laptop shut down. It was as though my window to the world was closed. I started breathing heavily. Such dependence on WhatsApp, Facebook or Gmail for that matter! The world of pseudo connectivity that I had built around myself was crumbling with every passing minute.And I started facing stark reality again...

I tried to remember the last time my friends and I went out-qualitatively. We met every alternate weekend. But by and large, the connect was missing. Every second guy would be texting away on his smartphone or taking a call from a colleague. Somehow, the rapport that was missing when we met face to face seemed to rekindle when we had a group chat online every night! I feared we would at sometime stop meeting and make the Instant Messengers our permanent haven!

Six hours into my resolution, I felt a little better. Some calm was setting in. I was sort of out of the depression that had engulfed me hours ago. The day was meant to be a day for rediscovery. I wanted to ensure that I achieved my objective. I went to my book shelf and picked a book I loved most. I dusted the covers and flipped through the pages. The scent was so pleasant! I had almost forgotten how a book smelled. The rustle of paper as I turned the page; The joy of the afternoon sun peering in through my window to light the lines of the book was something I had long forgotten. Not that I was reading after a long time. But I was feeling a real book in my hands after a long time! I cursed myself for having resorted to PDFs on my smartphone and Laptop which I used to read. And more so, the habit of reading to kill time as I travelled for an eternity to and from work.

Work.How it had changed my life in just more than a year! For the first time that day, I had time to reflect how the equation had changed over time. I had started off enthusiastically. Then developed a love for my work. Sooner than later, I developed a hatred for it. But before I realised all these phases,my relationship with work was in a can't -live -with -or -without phase.Checking mails on Outlook turned from a chore to passion to obsession! I was never a huge fan of money, yet work was something that I currently gave prime importance in life.

Prime importance. I pondered over the word for 15 minutes, 10 hours into my resolution. I mean, did I have anything else to give importance to?? It was half hour of introspection. I turned myself inside out. There was nothing else alive inside me! In some corner of my mind, hidden deep, was a bag of memories-memories of  different facets of my personality that had somehow vanished into oblivion over 2 years. I couldn't even recollect them properly. I pulled my file of certificates out of the drawer. It had been two years since I had seen them. The memories on ventilator slowly came to life as I went through the file. I had missed so much! And this day was slowly giving it all back to me...

 In the midst of all those certificates was a greeting card. 'To "Personality Personified" Wish you a happy birthday! :)' it said. I wondered how I had forgotten this greeting and the person who gave it to me. I chuckled to myself when I realised numerous pages in my diary were dedicated to her some years ago...though she no longer existed in my realm of things anymore. I wondered how this aspect of my life had taken a beating as well. All I found interesting these days were a couple of girls- one on Facebook and the other on WhatsApp-both of them changing their DPs every 10 minutes. The longer I looked at them, the more my interest dwindled. I  was on the verge of accepting that I browsed their profiles out of sheer habit  than anything else. I was appalled at my lack of emotions! How my life had changed....I decided to keep the greeting at a more accessible place, so I could nurse my emotions back to health.

17 hours into my resolution, I felt better than ever. I had played a game of carrom with my brother. I had had a full meal with my family in a long time. For a change, there was no television over dinner that day. We laughed our heart out over trivial things and pulled each other's legs.The whole idea seemed so fresh! I was itching to make that routine entry in my diary. Only, it wouldn't be a routine entry that day. 

As I sat in my favorite place at home after a long time-the sit-out- it was almost a re-birth like feeling. I felt rejuvenated,cheerful and somehow felt my life had a deeper meaning. I resolved to give my life more attention. I resolved to give myself more attention. I opened my diary and went through the last hundred entries.Each one seemed unmistakeably the same-only the order or words would be different. The highs would be a word of appreciation from a senior guy and the lows an escalation from someone else. The pages seemed so dry!And that day, I probably made the most meaningful entry in a long time...

It was the 19th hour of my resolution. I could feel the excitement in a part of my mind about my self-imposed exile ending.I also felt sorry that I still couldn't resist the temptation of switching my smartphone or laptop on-even after this experiencing this elevated state of mind for a day. I mean..I could always contact my friends over land-line..was Facebook or WhatsApp so critical? I questioned myself stupidly. But I knew I would succumb. There was one thing I had to do before the inevitable happened.

I took out a pen and a note pad. I wanted to write. Literally. I was so used to typing on a keyboard that my creativity went numb when I actually wanted to pen my thoughts. They say Creativity is a thing of the mind. But here I was, grappling thoughts in the mind and a pen in the hand-the grip on both of them as feeble as ever!

For two hours, it was sheer torture as I tried to squeeze out my constipated thoughts on paper. Somewhere, the effort must have drained me. When I woke up, it was morning again. All that was on my paper was saliva that I had drooled. The first thing I did after I woke up, was type my experience on this page....but not before I had caught up with my group on WhatsApp..and not before I had updated my status on FaceBook "Back from a day of isolation. Feel rejuvenated". I'm still checking the number of likes and comments each hour. There have been 45 likes and 16 comments.....hoping for a lot more....

An isolation has ended....and an other one has started..

                                                                            --23rd March 2013.


This bit of fiction..would have been the reality at some point in time in our lives...