A Second Chance.....

A Second Chance......

I died.It was in my sleep. A couple of seconds of strong intense pain and that was it! I thanked God for that.(I could do it personally now anyways!) I left my body behind and journeyed on. It was a clear, serene path that awaited me. Walls of gold on either side rose up to 15 feet, cutting off any noise. It was claustrophobic and lonely-yet I never felt so. It was as though there were travellers alongside. I could sense them, but not hear or see them. I glided across the path. I rather enjoyed the experience of levitating a few inches above the ground. 

After travelling for what seemed like a couple of hours I arrived at a fork. There was a signpost that read

 "The Newly Dead". It was obviously meant for people like me. I took the path. I glided for an other 10 minutes and arrived at a gate. I couldn't see beyond. There was a counter. The man behind the counter was dressed in a blue jacket and wore a white hat. His body seemed to have disappeared beneath the waist so he didn't need a trouser. Without even looking up he said " Name: ------; Date of Birth: -------; Date of Death: -----;

Type of Death: Tentative; Upon reading the last row, he looked up and looked at me for a whole second before declaring "Second right, third left. Room next to the dry banyan tree.Keep moving."

I wondered what all this meant. Was that room meant to by my final resting place in the other World? Did it mean I was never to go through the cycle of life and death again? With all these thoughts, I followed the man's instructions.

The room upon first look, didn't seem to lead anywhere.But there seemed to be a lot of light.Was it a cliff that would drop me to hell? There was just a thin curtain for an entrance. I parted it and entered the room. There was a single chair.I sat down on it. Suddenly, I was plunged into darkness. Then pictures and letters appeared on a screen.........

The Place You never went back: The screen showed my school. There I was. A small kid. My first teacher holding my hand to lead me into the class. Now a young boy- reciting a poem in front of the class as my teacher looked on. Then finally, a smart teenager as I passed out. My teachers clapping me all the way as I received my certificate. I had never managed to go back and visit the place again. I remembered promising my teachers I'd come back and report my progress in life, every summer. Many summers had come....and gone. Now I was dead. I could never go back...even if I wanted to......."I wish I could go there and say goodbye!" I said to myself. "You will" I thought I heard someone whisper. Or may be it was a trick of the wind!

The Apology You never accepted: The visual brought with it a surge of guilt. I could see my friend apologising to me profusely over something he had done. Admittedly it had hurt me a lot- but was not something I couldn't forgive. He had persisted for 2 years now. He had meant a lot me before the incident. But I was so devastated that to forgive was something I couldn't think of. He had messaged even last night. I had seen it before going to sleep. I felt terrible. I felt the need to talk to him. Someone wise has said "People who commit mistakes are more deeply hurt than the ones who bear those mistakes". The guilt was piling up every passing moment......

The Truth You never told: My mother was waiting for me at the door. She hadn't slept the whole night. She'd been waiting for me. I had told her I'd be late. But I was so drunk the night before that I couldn't think of going home in that state. I slept at a friend's house and came back home in the morning. I saw her waiting at the door. I knew she was a worried soul. I simply said "Sorry" and went to the bathroom to get rid of the 

foul smell I was reeking of. Characteristic of her, she never discussed it again. I had thought that she didn't know that I drink occasionally. But now the visual showed her discussing it with Dad. They were planning to confront me in the open this morning. Alas! They'd be in for a shock.....

The Gamble You should never have taken: It was the cricket field. Our team was battling for a spot in the finals in a tournament. I was the captain. We had to defend 10 runs in the last over to win the semis. I still had an over left. But in an adventurous zeal, handed the ball to a lesser known bowler. We lost the game. A portion of the team identified it as a tactical blunder. The rest, a lack of courage on my part to bowl the last over. Only I knew it was a gamble that didn't come off. The team that defeated us was beaten badly in the finals-it compounded my regret. I still replayed the game in my mind every night to my last one.

The Habit You never kicked: The screen showed me with my worst habit-Procrastination. I cleaned half my wardrobe and postponed the rest for the next day. I completed half my assignment and never bothered to do the rest. Too many things left half done came to my mind, that I had postponed to some later date and never exactly came back to completing them. The song I was learning to play on the guitar, the old-age home I was planning to visit for an eternity, the membership at the gym I promised myself every first day of a month....so much was left unfinished. What hurt me the most was that I postponed writing the climax of the story that I had so longingly written. I had planned to do it tomorrow night.......

The Words You never said: It was to her. The screen showed her looking at me deeply in the eye. Waving at me intently. I knew we would click. Yet I couldn't pluck the courage to say those important words. I had told them to girls who didn't care and didn't mean a damn to me, in hindsight..but somehow, not to her. I still remember that long gaze of longing she had given me on what probably was the last day when she probably thought I'd muster the courage to go speak. I could not. Courage overflowed months later. But I learnt she was firmly committed. I would never blame her. I would only blame myself. Regret clouded my heart: "Will I get an other chance?" I asked aloud. I wanted to live again, and say those words to her. "We'll think about it" I swear I heard someone say this. I jumped around. But there wasn't anyone there.

The Risk You never took: The screen showed me acting. It was probably my second passion in life-after cricket. I could see people watching me act with an intensity that matched the intensity of my acting on stage. I received lots of awards, tonnes of praise. Some people went on to predict I'd be a bigger success in theater than I ever was in academics. I was buoyed by all this to think of a career as an artiste. But somewhere I felt the pull of the security a normal academic life would give me. A good engineering degree from a decent college- I could lead a life with a luxurious lifestyle. I had conveniently chosen lifestyle over life. The work I now did had no life in it. And it didn't give me the time to relish my so-called lifestyle........

The Life You never Lived: The visuals showed a below par me- someone who could achieve lots, but was never motivated enough to do so. Lack of intent,courage and adventure plagued me. I dragged myself through the day and never really took charge of my life. My life meandered along its own course without a thrust that mattered. What had started like a waterfall of energy in school had become a rivulet, trying to find the sea-where it could happily merge and disappear into oblivion. It couldn't even achieve that-I remembered my life had ended last night. I probably deserved it.........................

I buried my head in my hands. I was aghast. I felt terrible. The lessons I had never learnt in life- death had taught me in 3 hours. I wished I was alive. I wished I could correct all those mistakes. Lend a sense of completion to my life.....

Suddenly the lights came on. "Please leave the room" the screen said.

I glided out slowly. There was a small board with my name on it. "Please sign here" it said. I looked for a pen. I suddenly felt a sting on my right index finger. It was a small prick. Blood started oozing. I got the message and signed the board in blood. The cut healed in a moment. The signature disappeared and a message appeared. "Please collect your mission from the Secretary, Department of Tentative Deaths".

"So I have some work here too!" I thought. I glided across to the Department of Tentative Deaths. The secretary was a queer guy.Only his head was visible. I wanted to ask him why. Yet felt it wasn't the right time to do so. "Er...my Mission??" I asked, a little nervous. The secretary handed me a sheet of paper.

Without even looking at me, he said "You've left a lot of your responsibilities incomplete on Earth. You don't fit in Heaven or in Hell. Fill this sheet with your goals every night and complete them the next day. The night you don't fill, you go to Hell. The day you don't achieve those set goals, Hell comes to you. A Tentative Death guy is given a second chance. You've got one. Use it well."

He pushed a lever. Within moments, I traveled back to my body. I could sense my eyes prickling as the rays of the early morning sun hit my room. I couldn't understand if the whole thing had been real or was just a dream.It was too real to be considered a dream. Yet was too dream-like to be considered real. I got up from my bed. A sheet of paper I seemed to be clutching fell on the floor..........

                                                                                                  -10th June 2013

-Everyday, Life gives us a second chance....or probably a last one....