The Landline says Goodbye!

     I always loved that I ushered in positivity; and a certain basic courtesy amongst humans. Even if you were speaking to your worst enemy, you still had to be civil and start the conversation with a cheery "Hello!"

I don't remember much of my life before I entered the family I now serve. And I've served about twenty five years - longer and more illustrious than most of my peers in other homes. They have been "dead" for a while now. I mean, a more advanced species called the "mobile phone" and its ubiquity is spelling doom for us in a lot of ways!

I was brought to life one happy morning, with my identity being the number ending **71. My first cry, something humans called the "ringtone" brought as much joy to the household as the birth of a baby. It was still those days when a landline symbolised a certain class elevation and not mere connectivity. We came in multiple colors and designs with multiple ringtones. And boy, did we enjoy the status!! With me was the directory. Again how classy it looked depended on the family's taste. I'd say the family's choice of directory wasn't great - but it wasn't mediocre either.

Memories of my early days are filled with instances of two boys trying to memorise my number with fervour. It seemed a matter of pride that they now owned a phone and wanted to share their phone number with anyone they knew! The perplexing part was that they competed between themselves to memorise phone numbers of my kin who resided in homes of their kin. They could've easily referred to the directory for the numbers - but no! Memorising numbers seemed to be an obsession for a long time. 

What was intriguing though in those days, was the manner of the elder lady in the house - the grandmother. For some reason, she never wanted to use my services. I never felt she hated me. But for some reason, she never wanted to touch me. And on those desperate occasions when she was compelled to use my services, she would stand away from me and shout out at the top of her voice.  Lucky, I had a speaker feature that enabled her to listen to the party at the other end, invariably her sons who were in different parts of the country. It was ironic that I ultimately carried the news of her death to different relatives like an intimate messenger, while we never shared an equation while she lived.

I get quite philosophical of his part of my role. I've conveyed news of births and news of deaths; Of moments of happiness; Of moments of anxiety; of episodes of ill-health; of reassurances of great health; It almost made my ringtone the harbinger of good or bad news depending on what the family was expecting at the time. I've noticed the look of happiness when I chimed and also the look of dread when I chimed. I only wish I had the power to alter my ringtone to suit the occasion. May be...sound ominous when the news was bad and merry for the good news. Alas, I didn't have the psychic power to discern the emotions of the caller!

About five years into the new millennium, I realised my species was quite ubiquitous. The family soon found me a companion, who ironically never stayed in the same room with me. She was called the "Cordless". Black, slender and elegant, one could carry her around the house and still speak to the person on the other side. Unlike me who was always connected and grounded. The beauty was that she was almost useless without me. And she realised that pretty quickly! Whenever someone brought her to the living room, we would exchange looks and a mute conversation would ensue. Inevitably, she would go back to her room. I'd yearn to see her again. I like to believe she pined for me as well.

But rest assured that the cordless and I were a deadly combination. If someone called and the call was received through me, it was possible for a second person to listen to the conversation through the cordless! Ohh my! The scandals it created those days in some households! For some reason this family always seemed to operate in good faith. It was boring. But it was peaceful.

The cordless and I did spend a few years together. But then she died an untimely death. She started malfunctioning way too often for the family to take care of her. Her ability to move wasn't such a great advantage after all! I missed her silent companionship. But got used to the life of a loner again.

As the kids grew up, though, they started spending a lot of time with me. These guys were above average intelligence and there were a lot phone calls prior to exams. I have distinct memories of the father proudly conveying his sons' exam results through me to his friends and family. After a point, I could've recited the scores myself. For some reason, even I felt proud on those days! Probably a phone call that I facilitated helped them score better....??!

That was the time I suddenly became indispensable to the family. I was soon connecting the family to something called the "Internet". This time the euphoria was bigger than at the time of my birth! Gone were the days when I was connecting individuals. I was now the family's ticket to the world that seemed to appear on their computer screens! The Internet opened up possibilities that hitherto didn't exist and I was the key that unlocked those possibilities! I definitely enjoyed the exalted status. If I sneezed, their entire world caught cold. I was treated with utmost care......

And that care has started turning into more of an obligation in the last seven years or so. It turns out that most of my fraternity were managed by the "Government" - a group of humans who never manage to deliver what is communicated(unlike us!). And the government had an incentive to promote our "distant cousin"- the mobile phone. Our internet story was soon collapsing around us. New technology for the internet meant we were not indispensable after all.

The lady of the house kept me alive. I was still her preferred communication partner as she dialed her sisters everyday and spent hours discussing family gossip or the latest recipe that she tried over her hapless husband and kids. Over the last few years, the features on the mobile phone and the plummeting tariffs meant that this last string of utility slowly started severing as well!

I grew morose. I aged faster than I'd aged in years. On occasions I chimed because of a rare call, I tried to sound boisterous in a cry for attention. Relatives of the family who visited the home looked at me and said "Our landline doesn't exist anymore....it's just a burden!" before adding "who calls you on it anyway? Why don't you dispose of it and save four hundred rupees a month?" Such cruelty. I mean, it wasn't unexpected in a way. Humans do send their aged to old age homes. I'm not sure if there are old age homes for land lines being discarded?? Yes, I've heard of museums. But that's for the illustrious amongst us - or the downtrodden. I, like the family, am average. Middle class.

I went out of order for a few days in the last couple of weeks. The family is now contemplating whether they have to "get rid" of me. I hoped they would just say I'd "served my purpose" and not use the "save four hundred rupees" angle. But then, cold logic triumphs emotions in most humans. Only the elder boy looks at me with intent once in a while, as though asking me what I'm feeling right now. If I could live and breathe, how would I feel...being relegated from a position of importance to a toy that has lost its significance?

Well, this monologue is exactly how I feel! And if there was a last wish, I'd want to be that happy messenger carrying the news of the boy's wedding to his friends and family. I hope he finds someone as elegant and understanding as my beloved cordless!!

                                                                                       - 19th January 2023