Confessions of a (just) BE

                                       Confessions of  a (just) BE

I looked back at the dog.It wouldn't stop staring at me.Probably I was the first one to sit there-on that footpath.The next moment the dog's face became the interviewer's face and I had this impulse to kick it with all my might.Somehow restraining myself,I got up and looked for one last time at the 17th company that had rejected me.

"Which is your passion?"he had asked.

"Cricket."I had replied,without hesitation.He asked me to leave.I probably had just two passions in life-the other...anyways both were apparently not worth it at this time in my life.

"Study hard"was the first principle that was drilled into me in life.I adhered to it.That was the problem.I got good percentages in school,in my pre-university and landed up in an engineering factory.I was to be a proud product of such and such factory,with an aggregate of so much,having such and such skills.It was a bandwagon-and I had jumped into it before knowing that there were thousands of such factories churning out lakhs of engineers each year.

I got into the bus for a long ride back home.I looked out of the window.It was my favorite pastime when on a bus.I saw littered roads,poor people,unhygenic slums.I wanted to change all this..In a rush of emotion I clasped my file.Oops there was also a degree-a BE at that! I first had to do justice to that."Get a job-get a salary.Make a livelihood"-an other of those umpteen principles in life!

The bus passed in front of a mall.I longed for weekends that could be spent in malls.A saturday evening starting off with a lot of window shopping(give the impression that I am a potential customer),dinner at the food court and a late night movie seemed a perfect picture.And with a close friend next to you,you could easily ogle at the hundreds of girls who seem to throng malls as though they own them..and even pass a comment or two.I cursed my BE that didn't give a license in the form of  a job for all this!

Girls! Even they somehow evaded a decent BE graduate.All my friends who had a girlfriend languished at the bottom(or was it the other way round?).It was probably cool.I am sure they will end up with a job soon(I mean they always said a girl brings them luck).But I am not so sure I will end up with a girl-even if I get a job.The geniuses obviously attract the opposite sex without effort.So it was only surprising that my genius friends didn't book a ticket for their girls as they waved them goodbye in one hand and held Kgs of American Dreams in the other.

Their flight took off and I was left gaping at it...standing on the tallest vantage point-probably secretly hoping that if I could touch the bottom of an American flight..I would get a chance to do my master's there.I could imagine thousands of average BEs like me trying to do the same in different parts of our country.....

The bus stopped suddenly.I was jerked up from my reverie.Apparently there was a fault.All of us got down.

A mechanic rushed to the spot and corrected it.All the while I was looking at what he was doing,being a mechanical engineer myself.I couldn't make head or tail of what he was doing.In the end,he noticed me.I was clutching the degree to my chest(it had become a habit).He probably noticed it.He smiled a smile of sarcasm and left the place.

Then the thought hit me.He along with the world seemed to think that I was a (just) BE.

P.S.: The work is fictitious.But I am sure a genuine BE would connect with atleast one instance here!

WHITE BLACK AND GREY

WHITE,BLACK AND GREY.

People. I always believed that the world is full of different people. Yet life is- or rather HE is- very unlikely to keep the world so straight. It is so simple yet so complex and unbelievable that
each one of us-You, me and everyone else is a lot more than one single entity. The world is full of us. And yes,each one of us is a world within.

Just sit back and introspect. Each one of us has different shades-a pure white, the not-so-pure grey and the ever repulsive black. We would have maximised one of them but ofcourse the rest are resting somewhere,dormant,ready to reveal themselves at the opportune m0ment. We could be colour blind to spot the grey and would have masked the black with an overwhelmingly white attitude-often overloooking the fact that there are no white crows.
Without the introspection,each one of us is an enigma to ourselves.

But is the world so cruel that each one of us need to have more than a tinge of black to survive.....?!!!!!
This is the question that bothers me most often- specially when there is a sudden surge of black
from a pure white soul. Experiences can change perception is what I learnt. White could be very graceful,but without that smallest tinge of black it is very vulnerable. One bitter experience could turn the world of that soul topsy-turvy and it would never be the same again.

Plainly speaking, a bitter experience in a sensitive person's life can change the way the person looks at the world. Pure white could make it impossible for the soul to accept the harsh realities of everyday life.Life is not perfect.GUYS SUCH UTOPIA DOES NOT EXIST!

But then again, life is not just battle and bruises and malice and distrust. There is a rosy side to it as well. What we do sometimes is once we know that there is something which hurts our white, we simply shield it with black. Ironically that black is repulsive to any positive energy as well.
The end result again, is that we are not affected by negative energy,but we are not blessed with positive energy as well. It is sad,but true.

I guess we need to step aside from the race-if life is one-and take a deep breath. Trust the next person who comes with a little bit of our positive energy.See if he can multiply it. Most of them generally can. Then there is the occassional person who tries to misuse it,throw him out of your world and look out for the next one. But to mask ourself with a veil and fight the world, resisting each person who turns up-will eventually make our world dark and friendless.
We could end up isolated. And it is this isolation that breeds negative energy and traits within us.

Each of us is an abudance of positive feelings and energy. Once in a while,we could lose some of it in the form of a person or a friend or a relationship. But that does not mean the world is black. It is more the fact that the vaccum created by the loss is clouding our mind. We just have to resolve to walk ahead for a certain distance-and rediscover the lost positive energy in whatever form. Rest assured that we will be stronger than last time-as with or without meaning to, the last experience would have left a tinge of black in our soul-that makes us immune.

We ironically live in a world where materialism is steadily conquering everything otherwise.
The innumerable shades of colour are quietly replacing white,black and grey. Go get a moment of solitude and examine where you belong.
If you ask me, you belong to that world that belongs to you: That world of WHITE ,BLACK and GREY!

of pleasure,bliss and happiness

OF PLEASURE, HAPPINESS AND BLISS.....

Hmmm....at first sight, all of them could mean the very same. Pleasure, happiness and bliss- a triplet, but nonetheless each of these possesses its own
identity, an identity worth some examination.

Pleasure, according to me, is just the temporary gratification that we derive from certain mundane experiences of human life. It just penetrates the senses and nothing more. Good food, a nice movie, noise mistaken for music,alcohol,cigars and drugs are certain things that immediately strike my mind. These things captivate our senses and our brain is temporarily engaged. The moment our brain is saturated, the pleasure wears of. Infact, pleasure just clouds the brain. The intellect has no role here. Pleasure is just an animal experience, and ofcourse there is nothing wrong with it.

A deeper experience, in my opinion is happiness. It is something WE DON'T
experience that often-partially due to the fact that we fail to recognise it.
We are often oblivious to the infinite set of circumstances that could make us happy, right from the smile of a child to the twinkle in the eye of the first person we wish in the morning. Materialism has sort of driven us away from the greater and serene experiences of everyday life. The joy of sharing, the sense of victory and ironically, the relief of a reprieve are all little experiences that do make us infinitely happy- if only we choose to recognise them.The morning sun,the smell of mud after rain, the chirping of birds,can make us happy-if only we choose to observe them.An eye for nature and its subtleties, a small break from our monotonous routine to observe life around us, and a keenness to observe and learn from our own lives, will surely help us discover happiness.

But BLISS is surely not for the mortal in each of us. I always believe that mortals though we are, there is always a divine being in each of us who rises to the surface when he chooses to. And while pleasure and happiness is all about give and take, bliss is just about giving. It is about giving away what you like the most, it is about giving away what you desperately want-and still experience a sense of weird satisfaction.It is about giving ,expecting nothing in return. It is all about forgiving and if possible forgetting. To be blissful is to be humble and dedicate your success to people around; To be blissful, is to smile when the next person is successful. I envy people involved in social service,because I feel they have the shortest path to being blissful. Yet,to be able to strive for the society, without expecting anything in return is a tremendous achivement in itself.

The stronghold of pleasure often deprives us from feeling the gentle caress of happiness. But in shaking both of them off to wander in search of bliss can truly make us forget the expectations and disappointments of everyday life.