To a Cliche called Love...
His seventh proposal had been rejected
too. He was feeling low,obviously. Yet there was a light-heartedness with the
low. He felt rather good. Did he want a yes in the first place,he wondered.Or
was proposing and getting rejected his way of moving on..? He searched the
contacts on his phone.Not one girl who had rejected him was on his list.
Even as he looked for the names of those
girls he had proposed,he saw the names of those he had come close to doing
so,those he wished he had,those he had dreamt he had..and the numerous others
whose faint memories lingered on in his mind. He took out his note-pad and
started listing. He wanted a count today,no matter what.And then he would write
a book-he was now experienced enough to do that.
"When did love first strike
me..?"he wondered.Class 9...or Class 10??. Unable to decide,he settled
down on the holidays between Class 9 and 10.Yes that must've been the time.For
it was then that they had gone on a school trip.She had smiled at him and he
was nervous to react. He thought he was being mocked. Then she cornered
him...and smiled again. He had to respond in kind! Then an other smile... and
an other one. It had taken 432 smiles(on one side) for him to understand
that the smile had been only for him all the time. And by the time he realised
that,Board Exams interrupted those smiles and he was heartbroken for the first
time. More so when he saw her smiling at his friend after the results.
Not that he had been innocent in school.He
wanted to speak to a short girl when he was in 9th..but came to know that she
was already in 10th.The one girl he thought was good-looking suddenly started
wearing huge glasses after winter holidays.The other who spoke great English
was a little too arrogant for his liking.And by the time he realised that
someone was smiling at him..that girl had moved on.
He sighed. There were
already 6 names from school.He drew a line to demarcate and wrote a fresh
heading. "College" he wrote. He had a mammoth task now.He had
definitely been overambitious in college. But it had not been his fault
entirely-he defended himself. You can't help if girls who looked dead boring
wearing uniforms suddenly transform themselves once they step into college! His
neck used to turn left,right and right about-360 degree if required. He would
want to talk to this girl today...and that girl tomorrow. The classical singer
impressed him today..and the compere at a fest next month.The nerd used to be
his all time favorite-specially if she wore glasses( inexplicably,his preferences
had changed). Then there were girls at tutorials who were from different
colleges. He had had a tough time.
Admittedly,he had been
impressed by many,but thankfully didn't come close to liking the lot. He wrote
down 24 names. Then paused. The 25th had to be special. She had been.
She was always bubbly and
cheerful.Never did she overdo her act though.They had been instant friends.He
never noticed her probably because she never tried to get herself noticed.Even
when their eyes kept meeting at all the right moments,he never gave it a second
thought.And when he finally recognised what he felt for her,her father had got
a transfer. "We'll always remain friends. Keep in touch" She had
said. He had never heard from her again.He still remembered her face vividly-and
all those times she had patted his head in innocent affection.
A cool breeze brought him back to the
present. After her,pre-university had been a breeze. He didn't notice too
many-unless you count that girl whose perfume made him follow her;that girl
whose fingers looked weirdly beautiful;or the other one whose hair did all the
talking. He finished pre-university with a count of 38.
He circled three names-those three girls
would stand out,when he eventually wrote the book.
When he entered B.E.,he wanted to make
sure he was more choosy.He wanted a higher probablilty of succeeding.He
preferred the more outgoing type here-nerds were history.Yet he was careful
about what outgoing meant. Being simple was the first criterion. Frank and
broad-minded the second...he had spent days
listing these criteria and then tried to
match it with the girls he found would remotely suit them. Ofcourse there had
been times when he just wanted throw that sheet containing the criteria and
follow his instinct. There had been this girl who seemed to follow him wherever
he went. Her friend had been more attractive. There was a girl whose eyes
were his only point of interest.There was an other whose eyes didn't even
matter to him.
But then there was one who had to stand
out. She still brought out a sense of genuine disappointment in him. Even after
all these years. The way they got along with each other had been thoroughly
natural-almost instinctive. No fuss,no noise,no mistake. It had been
smooth-probably too smooth. They enjoyed each other's company for two years.
When eventually he had brought out those obvious lines that evening,she had
blushed and gone home.And he could never speak to her properly after that.He
never saved her number..but memorised it. Sent an odd message even now..hoping
against hope for a reply that never came.
"Well..."he thought
aloud,thinking of some explanation for that episode,but none came out. It had
been that episode that changed his perspective completely-his views had been
more philosophical after that(atleast he thought so). Whenever a girl
thoroughly impressed him and the urge to like her overpowered him,he would
propose,knowing the obvious rejection.....and move on.
Today's had been the seventh one. She had
struck him by being silent. None of the aura of being boisterous. No attempt to
grab the attention.Nothing significant-and that had been most significant to
him. He started getting to know her. Established a fairly decent rapport.He
began hoping again. Somehow he had felt this time he wouldn't be rejected. At
last he would settle down to explore the intricacies of a relationship.He made
up his mind.Put all his previous disappointments away and told her those lines
he had rehearsed infinite times last night. She smiled. His heart told he had
won. She then said "I'm just so sorry.I'm already engaged."
He didn't know how he plucked the courage
to congratulate her-but he did.
No 50-he wrote next to her name. She
deserved that number,he chuckled to himself. 50 names were probably enough to
pen a book. He wrote a grand title on top of that page "To a cliche called
Love....."
Supposing 50 was not enough??
Well,there was always that girl on the bus
whose face he had never seen and longed to; and then that mutual friend of a
mutual friend to whom he had sent a friend request on Facebook last night..just
in case!!
-19th June,2012
P.S:Blogger causing problems at the centre. Don't mind it!
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