Two Dates....and a Dud

                    Two Dates....and a Dud

"I'm leaving just now....wish me luck!" Vishnu texted her. It mattered to him that Sneha knew he was out to meet a girl. If anybody helped him understand girls better, it was her. It had been a nightmare - sifting through the dozens of profiles his parents seemed to source out of thin air. And after a point in time, he was losing interest - every girl started looking the same.

"Let your search end today! I want to see you settled  :) "  came the reply. Vishnu smiled and started.

                                                                 ***************

"She is late....again..." Vishnu texted Sneha. She was never on time and this was their fourth meeting. Vishnu had liked the slowness of courting this girl. He had met her once a week over the last month and finally, in their last meeting - he felt the scales tilting from neutral to positive. Their dialogue in the dark seemed to be seeing the light of day.  "I think it's finally happening"  he had texted Sneha right after he left the restaurant after his previous date with the girl.

Of course, he didn't like that the girl always turned up late - and that she always had an excuse for that. 

"It's okay...girls can be late sometimes" Sneha replied. 

"But you never are...."

"That's...just me ;)"  Vishnu's heart skipped a beat whenever he saw that wink. He could never place Sneha in his mental jigsaw. She was definitely a friend. A confidante. A guide at times. And then there were moments like these...when his heart hinted she could be something more. And then the reality that she was being all these....because she was never exactly anyone of these. 

"Yeah..that's you ;)" Vishnu  texted, casting the complexity aside.

"Focus on your date dude!" She was good at this, Vishnu thought. 

 "Sorry...I'm late again" she said, as they settled down at the Cafe. "That's just the fourth time out of four times" was what Vishnu had in mind. "It's okay...some anticipation is a good start" was what he said. 

Over three meetings, patterns had definitely set in. There was lots of lighthearted conversation interspersed with serious discussions around "this is me...is that okay?" sprinkled with "this is me...you have no choice." Thankfully, what held things together, was a healthy dose of "I like this..we'll be okay." However, the last part was more a tacit self-assurance than open admission. Neither of them had let their guard down with a compliment yet - lest the other one thought it was a done deal. 

"Can I say she is looking pretty?" Vishnu texted Sneha, his phone under the table. 

"Give it a go...fourth meeting right.."

"You are looking pretty" Vishnu ventured, trying to mix caution with confidence and hoping it sounded just right. 

"Thank You!" she said coolly. "And what do I say? That you look dashing?"she asked,teasingly. Vishnu felt himself going slightly red behind the ears. It was his way of blushing. 

"She called me dashing!" he texted Sneha excitedly, as he rode back home in a cab.

"That you are ;)" Vishnu consciously ignored the wink. Times were changing.

"I think...we are done here :) Get ready to get invited!"

" :) Cheers!"

                                                                     **************

"Hey Vishnu....I thought a lot about this. It's been nice meeting you..and I had a really good time. But I don't think we should take this forward." she had texted early morning - knowing full well that Vishnu wouldn't be awake till around nine on a weekend. 

Vishnu sighed. It was back to square one. 

                                                

                                                                    ***************

" You can ask me anything. Let's not hold back because it's our first meeting" Sneha said to the guy sitting across the table. Hers was a first impression approach. Either you liked the person or you didn't. There was no meandering and beating around the bush. She believed that if she said Yes, she would hold onto her side of  the bargain, no matter what. And this time, she really wanted to. 

"Some guys like if your are direct...some guys prefer if you are a little shy..." Vishnu had suggested when she called him for advice the previous evening. 

"Are the stakes that high, this time?" he asked, sensing Sneha's excitement.

"Yup...he is really good looking and seems sorted in life."

"Alright...just be yourself. That's the best part about you..."

Sneha often wondered if she had given Vishnu the kind of attention he deserved. She received plenty from him. He always called her a "sounding board". It was clear she was important to him. But she never took him seriously beyond a point. 

She forced her thoughts back to the guy sitting in front of her. The guy's baritone deserved all the attention. As did his subtle sense of humour and elegance.

"You could've tried being an RJ....your voice seems made for it.." she complimented, without hesitation. Her being confidently upfront impressed a lot of men - including Vishnu. Only, Vishnu didn't know how to handle it. He would end up tongue tied when she complimented him- not knowing how to react. Somehow, he was much better on messages.

"How's it going?" Vishnu texted the very moment, almost on queue.
"It's going great....TTYL"
"Awesome!" Vishnu responded.
She knew Vishnu would be eagerly waiting for a moment-by-moment account of her date. 

At the end of the date, Sneha felt she had an excellent time. The guy seemed a gentleman. There was a calm confidence about him. Beyond his looks and the voice, he really seemed to want to listen to her. The icing on the cake was his parting words : "I'd love to meet you again - just let me know". He seemed rather sure of her. Sneha felt cheerfully nervous. It had been a couple of years since she had felt that way after meeting a guy.

                                                                     ****************

"I said no" Sneha texted Vishnu, after a couple of days.
"No??! Are you out of your mind? After everything you told me about him?" Vishnu responded.
"It didn't make sense...after deep thought"
"I'm clueless..." said Vishnu.
"Why would you be clueless? ;)"

The text unsettled Vishnu. He scrolled through their chat of the last few months and thought of all their conversations. Sneha seemed to listen to him, understand him and help him take decisions. Some of their chats had been a little edgy...but neither of them set much store by them. "We are poles apart" was a statement they concurred with. Yet somehow, there had always been a soundless whisper in some corner of his mind: "What if....?"  Sneha was pretty, attractive, grounded and knew Vishnu well. "What if...?"

"Let's meet...tomorrow evening..?" he texted and waited with bated breath.

Sneha was pleasantly surprised to see the message. She had never known Vishnu to be so vocal about planning a meeting. They met when they had common errands or occasionally watched a movie or play together. Of late, the honesty with which Vishnu shared everything happening in his life had slowly made Sneha pay him more attention. He didn't know much about her. And there were times when Sneha felt she could open up to him a lot more - he deserved to know her better.
"What if ....? she thought. Vishnu was smart, honest and simple - and gave her more attention than any other guy she knew. "What if....?"

"Okay! ;)"  she responded. It was a leap of faith.

                                       
                                                                     *****************

For the first time, Vishnu consciously dressed to impress Sneha. Not that he knew much about her tastes. He thought about their chats and conversations - and those times when she'd remarked that he looked good. He settled on a round collared half sleeved T-Shirt. He knew he didn't have a lot of muscle in his arms - but then he wanted to appear confident about how he looked. He knew that if anything, Sneha admired confidence.

Sneha was there at the rendezvous before him. She knew being on time was something Vishnu valued. He clung on to some of these slightly out-dated values - but that was what made him the nice guy he was.

Vishnu walked to where she was standing - smiling. There was something about him that evening, that she had not noticed in years. For someone who used to dress formally even to a movie, he seemed relaxed in his Tee. There was that air of casual confidence which she had never associated with him. May be she would have to discover this side to Vishnu - Sneha felt excited about it.

"Hello Sneha" he greeted her with a handshake - that was the norm between them. As they walked, side by side, to the restaurant, Vishnu felt they were walking closer to each other,than usual. He would generally be the one moving away in those circumstances, but today he didn't. Her perfume blended beautifully with the evening breeze, as they made small talk - each trying to sound more cheerful than usual.

As they sat down in the restaurant, Sneha unfurled her hair and it slid gracefully to her side. Vishnu was in awe. He had never noticed her that way. He kept looking at her. For a couple of seconds too long. She probably observed that.
"Should we order something?" Sneha asked him, a hint of a mischievous smile playing on her lips.
"Yes...let's do that.."Vishnu drifted back into the conversation.

The conversation ebbed and flowed and both of them looked for cues and openings to talk about what was uppermost in their mind. Neither of them wanted to be the first one to speak out - yet both were aware that this was probably their only window of opportunity. May be they wouldn't invest so much effort and emotions a second time.

"How do you want to live your life, Sneha?" Vishnu ventured cautiously. They had never spoken about their dreams and aspirations seriously. He had never been this direct with her. But it was now or never. For once, he felt she was as involved in the conversation.

"I believe in adventure, Vishnu. To be able to visit places. To have new experiences all the time. I don't want to be rich to do that. My lifestyle is simple enough....I backpacked through Cambodia once...and I felt so much freedom doing it. That's life..."

Vishnu was taken aback by the response. She always worked so hard at office. The recognition, the money, the growth - he had always felt she was career oriented, like he was.

"And all the top performer awards that you get in office...?"  he asked, trying to sound not too concerned.

"It's livelihood...my boy! I know where I want to go...but I'm figuring how to get there. Till then, I'll work hard to do justice to what gives me the money."

This put things in new perspective for Vishnu. She was beautiful, confident and grounded. But would she ever settle down...like he wanted to? Get married and then settle down to a beautiful routine that screams of happiness and contentment? The little joys of spending evenings together and weekends together. The couple goals of growing old together with a house they could call home. Vishnu came from a family where his father had worked three decades to have a shot at these goals. And these goals meant the world to him.

"So where does a relationship fit in your life?" he asked, the tremors in his voice articulating his internal confusion.

"Well...I'd prefer someone who's earning well right now....together, we'll save up over the next ten years probably....and then we take off...'Nomads for Life!' " Sneha said, dreamy for the first time that evening.

"I'm clueless..." Vishnu fumbled. "Why did you reject the other guy then...?" He could sense the tenuous connection they'd built in the earlier part of the evening melting under the pressure of their different worlds.

"Well, he wanted a peaceful domestic life. I mean...he is doing so well professionally now, he could retire in five years. But then, he wants to be a CEO...and I'm expected to run the show at home...nah! That's too much ambition for my liking"  Her hair was in a bun now, Vishnu noticed. The Sneha he always knew would soon be back.

"Hey...do you feel like ordering dessert? Vishnu suggested, hoping they could prolong the conversation and find something in common between their respective ideas of life.

"You know...I don't feel like it right now. Is it ok?" It hadn't taken much effort for Sneha to work out that certain things would always remain unsaid between them. Both of them knew why they were there that evening. And both of them now realised it would be a date that never was.

They walked out of the restaurant. They walked the usual distance apart. Still making small talk - only it wasn't punctuated with that extra effort to impress each other. Vishnu now seemed a lot more like the Vishnu she knew - simple and honest. Yet someone who could be more sure of himself.  Vishnu didn't find her perfume as enrapturing as earlier in the evening. Probably the air was still. Probably she was too confident for him.

This was an evening that they would never speak about - atleast in the near future. May be they'd look back at it years later....and even laugh about it. But right now, there was some work to be done to shove this into the bottom of the trunk of their mutual memories.

Vishnu reached home. Sneha's message popped as soon as he hooked on to the Wi-Fi.
"Thanks for the dinner!" she said.
"Thanks for the company!" Vishnu responded.
"Did you reach home safe?" he asked, as was their ritual.
" I always do...don't I? ;)" Sneha winked. Vishnu's heart skipped a beat. Some things would never change!


                                                                                              - 17th April 2020